Learn, Remember, Share
Life over the past few months has been intriguing to say the least. Not only did I get married 2 months ago, but so much has changed along with it. I no longer live at home, which is weird because I’ve lived in the same house – aside from camp & college – since I was born. I now pay my own bills, and have new responsibilities – some that I expected and some that I didn’t. I take care of things differently, as there is a deeper level of ownership involved in life. I do some work I’ve never done, and no longer have to do other work that I’ve always done. But, maybe most interesting for me is my current relationships with my friends.
I have always been used to having friendship that are in the same phase of life as me, but that is no longer the case. In high school and college friendships were so different. Everyone seemed to be doing the same types of things: looking for a girl to date (or marry); studying for a test; longing for graduation; goofing off when work should be done; going to bed at 3 in the morning; working a part-time job; sleeping in; etc… But now life is different for all of us. I expected it to be different, but the most intriguing part of all of this is that I was told a lie. I was told by so many people that it is nearly impossible to relate to unmarried people if you are married. Maybe not in those exact words, but I’ve heard so many people say that they wished they had more married couples to interact with now that they are married because single people just don’t understand.
I understand that people who are married go through things that single people don’t and that, as a result, they might not understand those things completely, but I don’t think this marriage makes us unable to relate to people – saying that is harsh and unloving. Instead, what I’m learning that I can relate to them in a new and profound way now that I’m married. For example, my 4 best friends are all in totally different phases of life, and I love how I can relate to each of them: one has been married for 4 years; one is in a serious relationship; one is corresponding with a girl; and one is currently single. I have loved this because it has helped me be able to learn, remember, and share as I interact with them on a weekly basis.
As they go through situations I’ve been able to interact with them in new ways. I’ve been able to hear their story and learn from them; share my story and give advice; and remember well the times when I was in those same phases of life. The fact that I am married has not caused me to not be able to relate to them, but it has allowed me to relate to them in ways I never could before. As a ‘newly-wed’ I can relate to them in a way I couldn’t as an engaged man, dating man, or bachelor, and it has truly been a blessing.
I think it is a shame that we so often look for people who are simply in our phase of life because we are in that phase of life. My hope that we can look to those who have been with us the whole time and attempt to learn, remember, and share with them as we journey together.