Things never stay exactly the same, and we so often live in the illusion that they will.
Places, faces, and spaces all play the part of the magician, and we of the audience amazed at the illusion taking place before our eyes.
I noticed this a few days ago when I revisited the place where my girlfriend and I went on our first ‘date’. I hiked up to the top of the Bake Oven Knob and noticed that it looked so different. The place where we sat was empty, graffiti had been graffitied over, the trees were full and green, and a house, down in the valley, that we both sketched, had a huge garage built next to it. On the surface everything seemed the same, but the truth was that this place had changed, just as we had changed.
Then yesterday, I revisited another place that Antonia and I had adventured to, and noticed that that place had changed as well (in just 5 months time). There was a giant tree fallen across the pathway, bamboo plants were sprouting up next to the trail, and the old railroad car that we took picture in was being ‘restored’. As I looked at these scenes my heart retched within me. Deep down in my soul I hated change. I have always wanted to ‘Freeze Frame’ the good moments in life and never let them go, but here life was telling me that that would never happen.
I remember walking around yesterday, praying out to God and simply asking Him the question, “Why do things have to change? Why do they change?” I feel that every human being who has walked on the face of the earth has asked this question. When things are going well and are so beautiful we do not want change because we are afraid that with change we will lose the things we love.
But as I think about this idea more clearly, I am glad for change.
It is change that has brought me to where I am at today. If I would have frozen that moment on top of the Bake Oven Knob I never would have dated Antonia; if I would have frozen that scene in the old abandoned railroad car I never would have journeyed through some beautiful adventures and learning experiences that I hold so dear. It is change that makes us who we are. It is through change that we learn how to love and grow. Change teaches us how give sacrificially and how to remain loyal to one another. Change is the very thing that we do not want and yet is the very thing that makes each moment worth fighting for -because we know, in the depth of our souls, that each moment has to change.
This is something that I’m learning: that as much as I want to hold on to moments past and moments at hand, I will embrace change for the sake of the moments yet to come. Moments of beauty and adventure that only change can bring.