I’ve Felt His Tears

A couple days ago I was standing in my room, door locked and placed myself in a corner while it rained outside.  I was going a full two months of following God endlessly, keeping myself from untamed thoughts and breaking down the walls between me and God.  I was doing so well that one night I broke down and I worshiped.  Thanking and praising Him that I was making a new me.  I envisioned myself running in a dark tunnel seeing the light at the end and all of it was crushed when I fell.
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I envisioned was myself kneeling close to the end.  I lost that strength I use to have.   As I was standing there in my room I achieved something that I never thought I would be able to and never thought of feeling.  Praying to God and asking for the strength I used to have, He came to me.  I fell to the ground, wept, and felt a gentle strong hand placed on my back while I felt the breath of His voice and heard Him whisper “I am with you, keep going, my son”.   I was embraced to His chest and I felt the tears run down my face along with my own.  I was in awe as I felt this pure, uncontrollable, holy connection.  My Father, to 7 billion people watching every single one, came to me, someone who has been losing his path on and off for years.  A life that He was crucified and murdered for, 2,000 years ago.  I’ve felt His tears, I’ve heard Him speak and I have felt His hands.  I’ve fallen but Satan can’t keep me down,  I will get up and I will run this path until it ends.

1 Timothy 1:15-17: What I say is true and all the world should receive it. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners from their sin and I am the worst sinner. 16 And yet God had loving-kindness for me. Jesus Christ used me to show how long He will wait for even the worst sinners. In that way, others will know they can have life that lasts forever also. We give honor and thanks to the King Who lives forever. He is the One Who never dies and Who is never seen. He is the One Who knows all things. He is the only God. Let it be so.

* This post was taken from Aaron Smith’s blog: www.thebeautifulexchangeworship.blogspot.com … Aaron is a musician and good friend of mine, feel free to check out more of his stuff on his blog.

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About Jeremiah Dowling

I write poetry and take crazy pictures in an Orange Chair all over the United States while reading amazing books.

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