*Back in February John Miller, a friend and mentor of mine, told me I could post anything from his blog if he thought it might be an encouragement to other, and so I really wanted to share this with you all. On Sunday John died of cancer and this was his last blog entry before he died. It was such an encouragement to me today and I hope it is to you as well:
“Not my will, but Yours”. So many times I have read those verses, so many times I have heard them read, the standard of Good Fri readings. I thought I have had a measure of understanding. Only recently have I realized my understanding of these verses is at bet minuscule. These words of Jesus, heard every year, simple to understand. Without human emotion, it is simple acquiesce. Add emotion to it, and there is a sudden change, a depth that cannot even begin to be understood, unless faced with having to make such a decision, to avoid pain, to stay with ones loved.These verses fly up to me every time I pray, or my wife and I pray together. The emotions run deep in me now. It is a fight to say not my will, but Yours. It is a part of my prayers every day, with the same grappling to get beyond me, to get beyond me, and having the faith that God really does known more than I, and he really does known what is best. My story, wrote by Him before time.
I do really want His will shown in my life. I therefore pray “Not by my will, but by yours”, often followed up by “Lord my faith is so little, please help me to grow in my faith.” Maybe I am still too attached to the creation and not the Creator. Maybe it would be easier if I did not have so many great people in my life. Maybe it would be easer if I looked not on what to blame the emotions on.There is so much talk about living a victorious life. My life will be victorious, not if I am healed, but if I hold onto the Truth, the truth of God. Father help me to believe that your will, is all that really matters. Thank You
John A Miller