A Story of My Own
“He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.” Ecclesiastes 5:20
For one of the first times in my life I am finally telling a story of my own.
I am actually telling a story that is not on track with the past; a story that doesn’t fit into a mold. As I went to bed last night I could not help but smile at the thought of actually being myself and telling a story that matters. When I woke up I read through my journal entry from 2-22-11 and all I could say was, “Wow, I’ve broken the cycle, and it is so beautiful.” Craters no longer haunt me because I’ve found my way into serenity. I’ve found peace upon these shores. I’ve learned to share my story for what it is, not what I think it should be, and that has made all the difference.
One of my favorite poets once said, “We love the things we love for what they are,” and I’m slowly learning the truth in that. Not only am I learning that I love others for who they are, but I’m learning that I love myself for who I am; I love life for what it is; I love God for who He is. And as I begin to wrap my mind around this concept life becomes all the more beautiful.
It seems that every day I am finding deeper intricacies and more profound beauties. I’m learning that there are small joys in life that I so often miss. Joys like: journaling in front of the fire, wrestling with my dog, talking to a friend late at night, experiencing touch and presence, catching a snowflake on my tongue, drinking the rain, the smell of flannel, memories, star light, classic literature, childhood poetry, midnight explorations, hiking trails, mountains, pictures … the list goes on and on. “All the little things…” (as my dearest friend would put it) are the things that, when discovered, inspire us the most.
Serenity has finally found me. It is just a taste of serenity, but it is so beautiful. I’m blown away with every breath, word, thought, and sight. With each day I see, more and more, the beauty of life, love, pain, laughter and friendship. It is beyond me, and yet it is right at my finger tips waiting to be touched.
My hope is that as life goes on I might see, experience, and share this beauty all the more. My hope is that I might make memories that matter when all is said and done.